Thursday, December 24, 2009

Account Cancellation: Score!

A while back, I wrote about the hell corporations put you through when you try to close accounts with them:
One doesn't simply cancel a wireless account. You must call a special phone number and speak to specialist personnel chosen for their psychopathic inability to register expressions of rejection. You will be asked to explain and defend your foolish decision. You will be offered things. You will be cajoled and niggled. After many minutes of spiel, deal, and distraction, your request will eventually be granted, but only after you've uttered the word "no" more times than JD Salinger's publicist.
I've tried telling them I was headed to prison for arson. I've tried telling them I had Lou Gehrigs disease. Nothing could prevent me from being run through the full epic script, cajoled with carrots and whacked with sharp sticks.

But today I may have found the answer; a gambit that had my credit card account shut down, neat and tidy, within thirty seconds. Granted, it's easier to close credit cards than mobile accounts, but I think I may have a winner here:
"I'm moving to Zimbabwe and joining the Peace Corp".
As a bonus, the rep admired my life decision so much that she voluntarily reversed the $60 annual fee which I'd been late in addressing and which I might otherwise have been stuck with. She felt good, I felt!

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