tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4640470443420164863.post1981987908516815011..comments2024-03-26T10:26:51.288-04:00Comments on Jim Leff's Slog: The Puzzling Hubris of Helicopter ParentingJim Leffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00007232702717055047noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4640470443420164863.post-63773904775896742152012-05-15T23:20:27.380-04:002012-05-15T23:20:27.380-04:00Yeah, Chris Hayes' show last weekend raised th...Yeah, Chris Hayes' show last weekend raised the issue of how parents may be going a bit nuts in the frantic effort to lift their kids into the much-discussed 1%, lest they be left behind among us plebeian 99%.<br /><br />And, yeah, that is surely a factor, though certainly not for everyone (this style of parenting has been adopted by a small minority for decades; I remember reading reports about it back in the 1970's....and the kids, if I recall correctly, tended to be a bit screwed up).<br /><br />But the issue of hubris, though certainly not the least bit acknowledged by anyone involved, remains central, in my opinion: what makes you think you can, as your all-consuming art project, raise ideal children? There's a big fat slab of hubris involved, pure and simple. <br /><br />I think of myself as a pretty clever guy. I have a healthy self-confidence in my overall know-how and insight. Yet even if I were to concede that nurture can trump nature in child-rearing (which, fwiw, I generally would not), I wouldn't imagine that I had the talent, vision, or wisdom to micromanage my child's development. In the larger picture, I'd never imagine that tons and tons more <b><i>me</i></b> is the key to optimal results.<br /><br />Self-confidence is good, but blind self-faith is unseemly. And to ensnare one's child in your vanity, treating her/his development as Your Little Experiment, because by sheer force of your unflagging will and unerring judgement, this kid will <b><i>triumph</i></b>....that strikes me as irresponsible and likely deranged.<br /><br />Children need to be around their peers. They need space. They need unmediated experience, and independent initiative. They need to see parents acting like normal grown-ups - not perpetual playpen concierges - who they can view as models. To me it seems the most obvious common sense....as does the all-consuming vanity which transparently fuels these parents' mindset.Jim Leffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00007232702717055047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4640470443420164863.post-58984774573226021182012-05-15T14:42:09.365-04:002012-05-15T14:42:09.365-04:00I am not convinced that hubris is the issue for ma...I am not convinced that hubris is the issue for many of these parents. What I observe is an abundance of fear - fear of failure, fear of financial problems, fear of social exclusion... etc. The fear pushes them to try to control events and eliminate all risks.<br /><br />Still, a negative outcome for the child.ERhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08802950025275318843noreply@blogger.com