David Copperfield Postscript

Some might read my last posting and think to themselves:

“How are strangers supposed to KNOW you’re an expert unless you spell it out? It’s ridiculous to assume they’ll hang on the word of some random stranger. In fact, this sounds like mental illness, walking around sulking about how people don’t magically recognize your well-hidden supposed awesomeness.

Either man up and boast (or at least state your credentials), or else reconcile yourself to being an ignored random shmo.“

Indeed, it’s a symptom of both autism and schizophrenia to expect strangers to recognize one's inner life (and to feel hostile when they fail to register one's self-imagined specialness). I don’t believe I have that illusion, nor is this my point.

I certainly don’t expect people to intuit my expertise and listen raptly. I just question why it cuts so extremely the other way. That’s the interesting question requiring the lengthy answer.

Again, we expect awesomeness to arrive with shiny veneer and gravitas. Without those markers, we actively reject, not just passively ignore. And that’s an instinct to be overcome, because toothy David Copperfields in well-pressed tuxedos will never show up to help you. Those cultivators-of-image are strictly transactional. Helpers, by contrast, are there (usually briefly) for you, not for them. Neither glossy nor suave, they project no cultivated image because image is for the vain and selfish, and projection is for those with agendas.

One can’t possibly know who I am or what I know, obviously. But when I shyly pipe up or chip in (stammering a bit and displaying a rattling intensity, because everything’s the most critical thing in the world) and you squint your eyes to size me up, maybe, just maybe, you’re looking for the wrong stuff. Apparently so, given how those size-ups pan out. Most often, I never get the chance to even imagine stating my credentials. I'm doomed from the first word because I am not the thing you're looking for - i.e. someone with gravitas and sparkle (this, btw, is a great example of the Visualization Fallacy I once wrote about!).

Listen, if I offer, say, chow tips but your spidey sense tells you “Hell no!”, you’re gonna miss out, that’s all. People sometimes need to override their innate spidey sense, much as they’ve learned to modulate their innate lust and aggression.

I don’t have a fraught need to be of service, so none of this is frustrating on my end. Its just a shame for you! I don’t sulk over rejection, because I have nothing at stake. I’m not seeking praise, gratitude, or new friends, just glad to help and get you back on your way. I’m available....though seldom used. And the world is quietly full of us. So I’m letting you know.

People recoil from help while ruing the heaven that ignores their prayers. It’s a nutty state of affairs. But the dilemma is your’s, not ours. It’s not that we need better ID badges, it’s that everyone ought to stop overlooking life’s manifold gifts and chasing preconceived empty images. Help is at hand (the answer blows in the wind!) and we actively, stubbornly, maddeningly repel it!


tl;dr: Just stop spurning creation’s gifts, that’s all.