I'm in a doctor's waiting room. A elderly patient emerges from an examination room with the exhilaration of post-woke Ebenezer Scrooge, heartily wishing the doctor "Merry Christmas", repeating the same greeting to the nurse/secretary staff, and, trodding mirthfully into the waiting room (occupied only by me), bellows "Merry Chr...." Having glanced at my schnozz, he stops cold in his tracks, and, in lowered voice, wishes me a Happy Hanukah. I reply, with black power fist salute:
Praise Allah!
Then it's on to lunch at the astoundingly great and lavish pan-African
B&B African buffet restaurant on 29th Street. The customer in line before me prattles at the cash register woman in some unrecognizable language. The woman, with fine features, elegant head scarf, and take-no-shit attitude, says "Sorry, I don't understand". The customer, flummoxed, asks, in heavily-accented English, "You don't speak bee-dongo???" She placidly smiles down at the change she's making and replies, with just a trace of gentle mockery, "No, I don't speak bee-dongo." Mind blown, customer silently accepts his change and walks off. She glances up at me, literally the only white guy in the entire bustling, cavernous space, and I say:
Don’t feel bad, I don’t speak bee-dongo, either.
Awesome! Conan hates red velvet cake. He liked it a little as a child and then more and more red velvet cake appeared. His mom likes to save money so often it was stale cake on sale. It took him years to convince her to stop. Guess what I brought to the library staff christmas party last year? I did use a mix but at least the cupcakes were very fresh. I told everyone how much Conan loves red velvet cake. I didn't think anything of it but last night Conan told me one of his coworkers, much higher rank than him, brought him some red velvet cake sometime last year. He called me a bitch (high praise) while he was telling me this and said he had to explain to everyone that I was being sarcastic. I did not conceal my glee as I asked does this mean I'm a sarcastic baker. The christmas party is today. What to do what to do? I'll probably show mercy and grab a kringle. And maybe some of those gingerbread cookie sticks if they have him. Conan is a ginger and loves all things ginger.
ReplyDelete