The Problem, The Pitfall, The Vicious Circle, and The Solution

Don't say I'm never terse.


Insight: People can be surprisingly awful and superficial and neurotic and dumb, etc.

Pitfall: People who've noticed this very often falsely assume that noticing means they're better. Sorry, no, it just means you're observant.

Common countermeasures: Contempt, disconnection, selfishness, condescension, disrespect, anger, bitterness, etc. I.e. typical human awfulness (the vicious circle personified).

Solution: Curiosity! Ponder: How did it happen? How does it look from inside their heads (i.e. their framing)? How am *I* awful? Can I view myself from a 30,000 foot view, with detachment? How can I help? How can I break the cycle? How can I "be the change"? What's proper conduct in a world where people willfully bring stress and suffering upon themselves (and, collaterally, others)?

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From Waiting for David Copperfield:

I'm explaining why help seldom seems to arrive; why you often feel left high and dry; why the heavens appear to have forsaken you. It's because you insulate yourself from your desired result. You actively repel surprise via your boredom. You overlook serendipitous opportunity while obsessing over your sad stories. And you are absolutely rotten at spotting the magicians and angels delivered in response to your hopes and prayers.

None of this leaves me embittered. I've recognized a great big critical fact: god (or whatever you prefer to call the deepest frame of awareness; I certainly don't mean some supernatural guy up on a cloud) gets exactly the same treatment, so why would I expect better?

We humans shuffle through our blinkered existence, lost in mental drama, amid this gorgeous paradise planet, a miraculously lush sanctuary in a coldly inhospitable universe, blessed with trees (if trees had never existed and sprung up overnight, people would be driven insane by the beauty) and life-giving oxygen and sunshine and delicious food and refreshing water and all the immersive storylines we could dream of, all of it tailored to our every need (including our need for challenge, violence, and heartbreak) and permeated with heartbreaking love. Yet we scarcely notice. We're jaded, bored, and impatiently awaiting Something Better. We live in eternal anticipation - of our next big win, of momentary gratification, and of the arrival, finally, of "The Answer". We pray for help and then spurn the responders. We even actually have the gall to demand a messiah.

Yet not once have I heard a voice blasting down from the skies: "Attention ungrateful shitheads! How about taking a look at those trees for just like two seconds?" There's never a trace of whining about our endlessly oblivious lack of appreciation. God (or whatever) is like a stoic silent grandmother perpetually serving insanely delicious soup to ungrateful family members lost in fake mental drama who distractedly trudge out of the kitchen with nary a word or smile....yet she quietly feels deeply satisfied knowing that, at some level, they've been nourished.

At some level they've been nourished.

See also "Why We Crucify Truth Tellers (and Why They Deserve It)"