How many times have you taken a stand, admonishing the heavens that "This Shall Not Pass!"...and the heavens blithely steamrolled right past your emphatic insistence?
And yet here you still are. Same you. Same person. The unthinkable/unendurable has happened over and over again, yet here you are, same as ever, blinking bemusedly at the unfolding yadda yadda like always.
This is not a small observation of human foibles to chuckle over for a moment. It merits avid contemplation - the sort that's undertaken with a willingness to follow the evidence wherever it leads. Unless you've fallen deeply in love with your dread - and with the drearily exhausting and comically unnecessary mental planetary layer cake that dread has spawned - such examination leads to quite good news.
Here's what people do if they've fallen deeply in love with their dread (i.e. depressed people). In answer to the observation "here you still are, same you, same person," they'll say "NO. I HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME PERSON SINCE VIVIAN MY HAMSTER TRAGICALLY PASSED LAST NOVEMBER." But that supposed transformation happened in a dramatic narrative they persistently plunged themselves into - by repeating the story to themselves until self-hypnotized into assuming that dramatic proposition as their entire universe.
But who's doing that storytelling? That, inarguably, is the same old them. That's where they blink bemusedly. They're working on something. A project!
The bemused blinker is who you really are. You're always grinning in bemusement at some level. Even while seeming absolutely lost in a wrenching movie scene, you're never lost all the way. At some level, you're still enjoying the movie even though DARTH VADER JUST CUT OFF YOUR ARM AND THE REBELS ARE LOSING!!!
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