Diligence Means Not Reducing Your World to Sausage Stuffing

Toward the middle of my Chowhound run, I was fielding five or six press inquiries per week. I'd settled into this groove after some early disorientation with my transition from journalist to journalistic subject (here is a collection of our early press quotes). By the time the smoke cleared I'd given something like 700 interviews.

One day, I received an inquiry from a major media source. His overture was sloppily terse, but that's how professional writers roll (we write like grunting cavemen when the spotlight's off). I agreed to be interviewed, whereupon I was sent an astounding email. I'll try to recreate the tone:

Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed by me, Stephan V. Faciletooth Jr [made-up name]. For more about me, here's my bio and my MySpace. Please answer the following questions by 11AM MONDAY MARCH 24th. Please leave a blank line above and below all replies. Feel free to answer at length, our copy editing staff will trim you the fuck down [he didn't say it like that]. I will be in touch if, and only if, I have follow-ups. Thanks once again for agreeing to be interviewed by Stephan V. Faciletooth Jr, and have a prosperous day. SVF

Everything but "please fill the circles completely with a number 2 pencil"! This lazy-assed, pompous mofo had snidely stripped all nicety from the process. You want coverage, I'm offering coverage. Be my kibble. Splay yourself astride my plate, because I shan't engage with my food. I have deadlines to meet and Pulitzers to collect, so fill out the form, won't you, little subject person? And send it out on schedule, mkay?

My first reaction: Shock (as a fellow journalist).

My second reaction: Overwhelming intuition to not reply.

My third reaction: Trying to account for that intuition.

A word popped up: Diligence.

Someone lacking the professional diligence to lift a finger to act in the menschy and craftsman-like way his profession dictates - who'd reduce this to an utterly impersonal experience with less human contact than telemarketing - will never, ever, ever, do justice to you as a subject. Because justice requires diligence, and he's just demonstrated his absolute lack of that.

In the journalism game, justice is seldom done, even by menschy craftsman! Everyone's mostly just sausage-making. But if you've attached a flashing neon sign to your head proclaiming yourself The Sausage Maker, and stand before me snidely gesturing toward your pork inlet, there's no hope whatsoever. I will not enjoy the result. It will be horrid. So I never replied.

Something vaguely similar had happened with NPR's Morning Edition (recounted here). And this is all freshly in mind because every once in a while I still field a press inquiry, including this recent ray of sunshine:

Dear Jim,

I hope this email finds you well.

My name is Kiran, and I'm writing from Team [podcast name] on behalf of "The [podcast name] Show." We're a podcast dedicated to featuring inspiring leaders like yourself.

We'd be honored to invite you to join [podcast name] as a guest on the show. We're particularly interested in learning about your leadership journey and your insights on navigating challenges and fostering a successful team. These experiences would be invaluable to our audience of aspiring leaders.

The [podcast name] reaches over [XXXXX] engaged listeners through LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, and email. They actively seek guidance and inspiration from successful executives like yourself.

We understand your time is valuable. Our interview format is designed to be concise and engaging. If you're interested in learning more about how your participation could benefit both you and our audience, please don't hesitate to reply to this email. We'd be delighted to discuss potential topics and the format further.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

I checked, and it's legit. So why does it send such scammy signals? Because it is 100% rote template, not personalized - humanized - in any way aside from the "Jim". You want coverage, we're giving coverage. Be kibble. Go ahead and feed yourself into the machinery.

I didn't reply. Not because I'm offended at how they addressed me. And not just because I'm unthirsty for coverage. But because they've revealed themselves as a low-diligence operation, and this means being on their show would suck and they wouldn't do justice to me. I do understand that this is just an intern sending a form letter, but the process was established by people with a certain mindset. Me, I'd shoot myself in the frontal lobes before sending out cold calls half this cold.

It takes great diligence to "do justice". It requires humanity. It requires baking fresh. Diligence means never reducing your world to sausage stuffing.