On Moving to Portugal

Oddly, I wrote this before the election.

Since recent events place this in an entirely diferent context, I'll add links to part 1 and part 2 of my explanation of how I originally construed my move ("How to Plan an Alternative Timeline While Remaining Momentarily Complacent"). They were written a few years ago now, and land differently now. But the following is my perspective two years into my move, and has nothing to do with politics.


Old friends often ask whether I'm "happy in Portugal."

The question presupposes that one's dramatic trajectory slopes toward winning or losing as one goes here or there and does this or that. "How's your arc today, Sally?" "I dyed my hair last week and I'm up six points, Mary!"

Real life is not a two-dimensional vignette, there's no dramatic payoff, and channel changes don't deliver happy-ever-afters. I once noted that "This is not a film. We're raindrops slowly working down windows, not heroic protagonists." So when people make big moves imagining it will feel like a big move, they nearly always wind up deeply disappointed, because it didn't change everything. Or even much of anything. Because wherever you go, there you are.

Here (in cinematic terms because most people can't escape that perspective) is what a move like this actually changes: it swaps in a fresh backdrop. The stuff you do in front of the backdrop remains largely unaffected.

Wherever you go, there you are!

I'm beyond being surprised by this. I’m able to learn lessons after the trillionth repetition, and the world is an elaborate contrivance to patiently teach us this fundamental truth. So with that in mind, here’s realistic advice on moving to some distant shore.

If you have inertia - passions, projects, and interests which bring you a satisfying sense of meaning - you'll thrive pursuing those things in front of a snazzy new backdrop. I take responsibility for my life experience. I write, play, ponder, walk, cook, eat, travel, help, scheme, optimize, learn, meditate, and generally enthuse, all in similar fashion to before, but in a sunnier place where the prevalent narcissism feels somewhat less familiar. 

No life-changing pivot. No plot development leaving our protagonist happy ever after - or gnashing his teeth in fraught regret. Just an agreeable new backdrop swapped in behind the continuity. When I leave my apartment to take a walk, I like how it smells. Are you getting the idea?

If you lack inertia, and need the external world to prod and delight you and supply your sense of meaning, you'll be fine so long as you're able to create and sustain those conditions at your destination. If you expect the new place to provide those services while you remain passive, you will be sorely disappointed, because the world absolutely does not give a fuck about you.

If that observation upsets you, don't move, because it will grow starkly evident when you go elsewhere expecting something different. Back home, you can lose yourself in fury over your neighbor's political yard signs and other petty trivialities.

Ideally by adulthood a person has passions and pursuits. And/or some ability to kindle social engagement. If you have none of those things - if you're a passive, undeveloped blob of weepy hope - stay in Long Beach or Tacoma and develop passions or social stirring skills. Learn to make your world interesting (the introvert move)...or to make yourself interesting (the extrovert move). And then - and only then - find a snazzy backdrop to do that in front of. 

Or else accept the path of least resistance, remaining in situ, doing what you can to stave off the torpor which is never not your responsibility. Whether you sit in a Venetian gondola or a La-Z-Boy recliner, that part is entirely on you. Without the ability to inhabit a foreground, shifting backdrops can only depress you.

Boredom is not a sucking action from a vapid universe. It's a thrusting push from vapid you.

If you're bored in Tampa, you'll be bored anywhere. That said, if you can find equanimity being bored in front of a new backdrop - shrugging off your non-delight with only mild bitterness - that's not so bad, though you might have saved yourself the trouble. But if you find life interesting while at the DMV or on line at the drug store, you'll find it differently interesting after a move. And that's a delight, so, by all means, go for it!