Why is This Stupid Hotel Breakfast So Good?

That was a neat bit of chowhound detection work.

I reluctantly poked my head into the hotel free breakfast, because hope springs eternal. And my first bewilderment came from the scrambled eggs, which were real scrambled eggs, though in a trafing dish, not fresh. Also, the ham looked good. I loaded my plate with uncommon enthusiasm and carted it back to the table, and every bite was wonderful.

This should have brought me nothing but pleasure, but I can't resist a mystery. So as I worked through eggs, ham, stewed tomatoes, sautéed mushrooms, pasty beans, small pastries, a slice of whole grain toast, a roll, some peach jam, and a glass of mixed fruit juice, I pieced it together.

At dinner, this is a legit great 5 star restaurant, more expensive than I can afford. Of course, this is not that. The staff's not here and no one's aiming to dazzle. Their Michelin star is not hanging on the tenderness of my scrambled eggs.

I realized that the breakfast is terrific due purely to muscle memory. The good chef is still home in bed, sleeping off the substances he did after service, and the fancy stuff is all put away, but everyone in front and in back serves some minor role or association to the big show, so they know something, and they have been trained to have standards, so this is the shittiest they can possibly do. They'd like to do worse, but can't.

They'd like to make rubbery scrambled eggs, but it's actually hard for someone with a shred of diligence to produce execrable hotel buffet scrambled eggs. And the olive oil used in those tomatoes is the good stuff (they're not going to haul in cheaper oil just for breakfast service). And the stupid mini croissants are from one of the hotel's snooty suppliers, not a big white truck from an industrial park. The restaurant doesn't have business relationships with drek suppliers.

So, when the second and third string staff of a great restaurant try to serve you shitty breakfast, the result won't completely delight, but it will be 100,000 times better than the shitty breakfast they're trying to cook, and you'd expected to eat. It will be food.