Breaking Free of the Adhesion Mafia

Big brainstorm today!

I recently ran out of adhesive to/from address labels. So I visited Staples The Office Supplies Superstore, and found a tidy little house-branded package of them...for like six dollars. I tried to take a deep breath, grab the package, and bring it to the cash register, but it didn't work. The price wasn't just outrageous, it was a deal-breaker, and it totally disrupted the momentum of my buying impulse. Cheeks flushed with indignation, I stalked out of the store, figuring I'd...idunno, go online and find something cheaper. Or something.

Of course, there is nothing cheaper. Adhesive products are apparently produced by some sinister mafia that's conditioned consumers to pay triple what they ought to for the magical property of stickiness. There may have been a time, circa 1920, when "sticky" was a new rage, and products with this magical high-tech property deserved a vast premium. Today, the markup seems ludicrous.

I reuse old Amazon boxes, so writing addresses directly on the cardboard (covered in Amazon graphics) with magic marker is not an option. The correct tool for this job, really, is adhesive-backed labels onto which I can scrawl recipient's address. And, since my boycott has deprived me of the correct tool, unmailed packages have begun piling up in my kitchen.

But I'm no dummy. I thought the impasse through, and struck upon a course of action. I need to find some way to make labels and papers sticky on my own, circumventing the Adhesion Mafia! So I considered options, recalling, for one thing, that Staples The Office Supplies Superstore sells a make-sticky liquid that can be applied to the back of papers to turn them into homegrown Stickie Notes. It is, alas, expensive. And, anyway, for this job, I need something stronger; something that would stick the address label on my package in a secure way.

And then it came to me. Glue! What I need for this job is paper and Elmer's glue. Fabulous! I'm going to save a ton! Please circulate this hot tip!