"Yo, Jim, Do You Know Any Places to Eat in Provo?"

It took me a decade to hit upon a strategy for getting off of people's mailing lists without pissing them off. Unfortunately, I lost three close friends before managing to figure out how to do it (as I wrote at the time, "Hell hath no fury like a friend's limericks scorned").

Now if I could only figure out a way to gently, kindly refer friends to Chowhound when they need food tips.

No matter how I phrase it, they feel shunted off. They think I'm being stand-offish, even though I tale pains to explain that the whole point of Chowhound was to offer better information than any one expert (like me) could possibly provide. I'm not condemning them to second-rate treatment. My advice is the second-rate treatment!

An old friend insists I am indeed being stand-offish. Lawyers help out friends with legal issues, period. It's part of friendship, and I oughtn't be so selfish. But what about a lawyer who's created a huge public service all-purpose legal guidance system vastly more current and extensive than any one lawyer? Is it really cold-hearted of him to urge friends to make use of his warm-hearted creation?