Why I Don't Fear Death

When the day comes for me to cast off my mortal coil, there will be sadness, yes (no more lasagna, just for one thing*). But I will be immensely grateful knowing I'll never again endure an exchange like this:

Plumbing Company:
Please note, that when we come in to do the boiler swap out and begin work, your portion of the balance will be due.

Me:
Are you saying you'll want the entire balance paid before work is finished? Normally, one pays at the end of a job. Is there a reason for this?

Plumbing Company:
According to our terms and conditions, you will be required to pay half of your portion of the balance on the day materials are delivered and job is started. the remaining balance is due day of system start up. apologies for any confusion.

Me:
Just to be sure I understand…..this means I pay the rest of the money when the job’s done, right?

Plumbing Company:
the last payment is due on day we start up the system.

Me:
What work will remain after you start the system?

Plumbing Company:
there is no more work after system start up.

* - Also, I'm pretty sure there's no Internet in Heaven. If there were, we'd be exposed to YouTube video comments, which certainly aren't conducive to the heavenly environment. So if there were Internet, they'd need to filter it, ala China, leading to headaches which God and his management people would surely sooner avoid. So, yup, no Internet, for sure.