Friday, April 13, 2018

A Glimpse of Madness

I've always taken on the neuroses of girlfriends. I once dated a woman who had trouble mailing stuff - she'd try to find The Perfect Mailbox (they kept shutting off her phone and electric due to non-payment). I never understood what that even meant, but I nonetheless began to insist on The Perfect Mailbox. Right around then the USPS in NYC was doing a poor job of pick-up, so I kept running into post boxes on the street with letters backed up all the way to the slot, which really burned in my aversion.

I never fully shook off the mailing phobia, plus I have a longstanding problem with paperwork, bureaucracy and postal stuff in general (alert readers will recall that I once had a bad scene in a post office). Want to see the handwriting of someone doing three phobic things at once, frantically determined to crash through the barriers and get it done?

Behold, in full blown-up glory, the look of madness:

Every five characters or so, you can see where an undulating wave of anxiety sent my pen just slightly haywire before I wrested back control. I find it hypnotic, in a bad way, to look at. The zip code went ok, but those final two 2s look like the valiant last actions of a man running just ahead of an avalanche. They actually dented the paper a little; see the circular crater around "4122".

Now to find the perfect mailbox....

1 comment:

Display Name said...

Holy shit Jim. My mom was scared of elevators because she feared freak accidents. But she was even more afraid of escalators. Made shopping with her fun. I remember you being treated badly at a post office. Are you referring to the time you made a little joke? I've always wanted to respond to that because I sell on ebay, my twenty year anniversary is in July, still trying to figure out how to honor that. If I'm still sane. Anyhow I go to the post office most weekdays. Used to go on saturday too. That episode really resonated with me. Could give many examples to validate that you are right about the post office. I have five or six post office I could go to but I only deal with one even though it closes earlier. Each post office charges me different prices to mail my bubble wrap envelopes and one post office told me they would have no idea what to charge me. I go to the post office that charges me the least. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. I was an early paypal adopter and getting and sending money still freaks me out after all these years. I still think of it as a cred stick from one of my video games. Shadowrun I think. But I get non virtual donuts!

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