Monday, February 18, 2019

Treating Thieves Like Professionals

Parking in NYC in the crime-filled 80’s, I’d leave all packages open and in very plain view, with the open side courteously facing the side window. That way thieves could easily triage my potential victimhood. I’m sure they appreciated the effort and risk I'd saved them, and I appreciated not having my window broken. Win/win.

My friends thought I was being eccentric*. They took the more "normal" route, hiding all questionable-looking packages beneath the seat. But I understood that thieves would recognize my gesture - the intentionality behind it - and not need to look under my seat. They knew I had their best interest at heart. I was treating them like professionals.

* - "Eccentric" means different and wrong. Eccentrics try to build perpetual motion machines, or find ways to pointlessly sip lemonade through PVC tubing. If you come up with genuinely superior solutions, that's not eccentric.

"Better" isn't "weird"! (That might be my epitaph if I weren't already committed to "Kept all options open!")

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