Loneliness

Both.

Loneliness is a yearning for some non-specific dream person to appear and perform a role. Lonely for "that person" who wakes you up in the morning and waits for you at night, we feel tasked with finding someone to portray that character.

But a real person might not be home in the mornings, or might sleep even later than you. A real person might not be predisposed to waiting, being intensely engaged in some pursuit or another. The Special Someone is a fantasy, and real people have limited ability (let alone interest) in portraying one-dimensional fantasy characters. Real people come with a whole backstory. You can't conjure someone fresh to make the role-play their core function.

If you do find someone willing to enact your wishcast - to do the waking and the waiting - there will be perturbances, because it will never completely or consistently fit your mental fantasy. Always "off", you'll always be lonely. The perfect benevolent character in your head was never a human being. Human beings are ambivalent and complicated. Upsettingly, it's never quite all about you. That's why you can't get no satisfaction.

If you can escape the dreamy realm of role play - of desperately seeking the person to act the part - the waking and the waiting, etc. - then, good news. You live in a world full of billions of people. They're doing just fine, and you can enjoy that they're out there, living their lives obliviously to you. You might occasionally offer some support or encouragement - just because! - but it needn't lead to a "Meet Cute" kindling of a fantasy scenario. You can just let it be what it is, which is pretty good!

I've described two radically different scenarios, but you'll feel lonely in either, because you'll never be awakened nor awaited per that special no one in your head. Caught up in drama, the shortfall feels bitterly lonely, even if s/he's right here right now. But if you opt out of contriving indulgent cinematic tearjerkers in your mind over What's Missing, you'll experience loneliness as a light wistfulness. 

You can be free, and able to do whatever you want, encumbered by a light wistfulness.


See also Love Theater