Another Empathy Asymmetry

My recent posting, "The Empathy Asymmetry", explored how the burden of empathy often falls unilaterally, and how the suspension of social disbelief can blind us to these imbalances. Here's a perfect real-world example from a few years ago:

A friend invited me to a beer festival, and, alas, brought along his bombastic, contentious wife. True to form, she immediately took strident exception to some trivial disagreement, launching into a tirade while I placidly waited out the storm. She concluded the tongue-lashing by noting that her mother had died two weeks ago, leaving her utterly uninterested in taking any shit from me during this difficult and highly vulnerable moment.

I responded, calmly, that my mother had died two weeks ago as well.

For a brief, fraught moment, she hesitated, calculating whether I was speaking truth and whether it mattered. The pause didn't last long. True or not, she'd formed her response.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF," she bellowed, dragging her spouse behind her as she strode away. 

Empathy imbalance in 21st century America can be a confusing and surreal proposition.