Reframing Alcoholism

I spend a lot of time explaining about framing, but not enough time giving real world examples. This isn't navel-gazing Eastern MYSTICISM. This is the key to happiness, to change and growth and learning. It's the key to everything.

Want to be The Messiah? Framing is the only way. Want to escape depression? Depression's when your perpsective (same as "framing") gets stuck. Want to see your family and friends stroll out of a funeral 3000% happier without even noticing what happened, like by magic? Framing! Want to talk meaningfully to someone on the opposite side of the political divide? Framing!

You can't persuade or help anyone by pushing opinions or facts at them, or by arguing with them. But you can kindle reframing. that you can do. It's within your power. It requires effort and polish and deep empathy, and you must bake fresh to ensure a custom-tailored result, but it can help powerfully.

I recently sent the following to an alcoholic friend:

I'm not a temperance guy. If you want to fuck yourself up, I don't judge (though at a certain point I'd imagine it would get boring for you). But here's the thing: putting yourself in that condition is how you say "No!" to the universe. "No, I don't want to perceive you clearly and soberly", and "No, I don't want to contribute helpfully or coherently". That's what drunks and addicts do. That's the mindset. It's a denial of what's going on (and the problem from out here is that we're the universe, so you're saying "No" to all of us, even as you eagerly try to connect and contribute). It doesn’t feel like a party to us out here when you’re slobbering. I'm not sure you get this.

But you don't actually have this “No" mindset. There’s stuff in the world that bugs you, and makes you anxious, but, more deeply, you're someone who lives to express, comprehend, and connect. And those are all sober functions. That's not drunk stuff, it's the opposite of that. Those things are about saying "Yes" to the universe, and they all require mental clarity. So you are, by nature, one of the most sober motherfuckers I ever met.

You don’t need to grow or learn or meditate or “change” to do those things. You don’t need to add stuff, just subtract. Just subtract boring stuff.

Hey, it’s an option.