Perpetually skinny readers will find this horrifying description puzzling and unrelatable. The rest understand.
I might easily have launched into a mental reverie of despair for letting my weight get to this point (I'm ten pounds shy of my all-time peak). But then I recalled that I've been at the gym every day this week (after two months off due to injuries and illness) where I've been working out like a Tasmanian Devil. I've been eating very modestly, as well.
I also recalled all the morbidly obese gym newcomers I'd glimpsed over the years seeming uncomfortable and self-conscious. I always wanted (if I weren't so shy) to reassure such people:
This is not the place for you to be self-conscious. The gym is where you should hold your head high. If I see you in a doughnut shop, that's another thing. But here? You're like a shaggy-headed person in a barber's chair. You're like a muddy-handed person standing over a sink. You're in exactly the right place, doing exactly the right thing. This moment isn't your insecurity; this is your strength.Thoroughly inoculated, I turned over and contentedly fell back asleep.
2 comments:
I love these slice of life posts Jim. Swimming is a great excercise but I don't see any insecure pool peeps at my gym. All swimmers have well-toned bodies there. Even buying a new bathing suit is not for the faint of heart. Did that one woman with the brand new gym outfit quit yet? The one that you gave one week? I do free weights and the machines after warming up on the treads but my new secret tech is dressing very warmly and taking my energetic pup for a walk in his favorite park. Great job getting a good rest.
I mostly feel insecure about being underemployed. I got a 4 year degree in computer science and work a job someone still in high school could perform. Yet, I am too embarrassed and ashamed to walk into the unemployment office, searching for a better job fills me with rage, and I am way too self conscious to reach out to my college or other college graduates.
To be fair, when I reached out to my friend, he said "beggars can't be choosers." Basically shaming me for not having a better job.
Post a Comment