Everyone has the unquestionable right to identify, behave and live as they'd like. I unreservedly support the right to affiliate and identity as one chooses, including sexual orientation and gender. I would oppose anyone who denies others that right.
But the notion that we must not only accommodate choices, but actually see people precisely as they desire to be seen - to align our view with their self image - strikes me as shocking chutzpah.
I've rarely, if ever, been recognized as anywhere close to my truth. I've lived a life of misapprehension and underestimation, gas-lit into such self-doubt that I'm barely able to see myself as the person I provably am. I am not, however, the least bit outraged by this.
None of it was persecution. People see what they see, and are entitled to their assessment; their judgement; their taxonomy. Even if wrong. That's their human right. I can’t be compelled to see things as you do...including you. It's your job to convince me!
These are the perennial ground rules for human sociality. We can't dictate other people's impressions - unless we imagine ourselves fantastically powerful and important. Humans enjoy freedom of perspective, even if nothing else. It’s outrageous to demand that others conform their view of me to my declared self image. “You must see me this way!” Who does that?
To imagine such control over others requires deluded entitlement. No one deserves such privilege. Most humans struggle to be seen as any sort of individual at all. To ferociously demand that others measure you in obedience with your expectation is the stuff of mad earls and emperors.
That said, you of course can use whichever bathroom you'd like, love whomever you like, and freely strive, with uncertain results, to play whichever role you choose in this play. I might not buy your performance, though, any more than you'd buy mine (in my mind, for example, I'm handsome). You see what you see, and I see what I see, and we do not owe each other solicitous credulity.
I've rarely, if ever, been recognized as anywhere close to my truth. I've lived a life of misapprehension and underestimation, gas-lit into such self-doubt that I'm barely able to see myself as the person I provably am. I am not, however, the least bit outraged by this.
None of it was persecution. People see what they see, and are entitled to their assessment; their judgement; their taxonomy. Even if wrong. That's their human right. I can’t be compelled to see things as you do...including you. It's your job to convince me!
These are the perennial ground rules for human sociality. We can't dictate other people's impressions - unless we imagine ourselves fantastically powerful and important. Humans enjoy freedom of perspective, even if nothing else. It’s outrageous to demand that others conform their view of me to my declared self image. “You must see me this way!” Who does that?
To imagine such control over others requires deluded entitlement. No one deserves such privilege. Most humans struggle to be seen as any sort of individual at all. To ferociously demand that others measure you in obedience with your expectation is the stuff of mad earls and emperors.
That said, you of course can use whichever bathroom you'd like, love whomever you like, and freely strive, with uncertain results, to play whichever role you choose in this play. I might not buy your performance, though, any more than you'd buy mine (in my mind, for example, I'm handsome). You see what you see, and I see what I see, and we do not owe each other solicitous credulity.
No comments:
Post a Comment