Thursday, April 7, 2022

Early Work: James the Catfish

My fourth grade report on catfish strikes me as gushing with interesting facts and tall tales.

Mrs. Shannon was unpersuaded.

Grade: "C"

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

As your childhood paperwork slowly manifests before vast audiences, one-eyed B googled «child personality forms early» and its pre-cursor the Scriptures etc. In the dawn was JIM (the «egg») , set upon by teachers (chicken, came after egg; modern science) , to form educated MEN. But Jim already WAS, and resented some photocopying going on. Ages accumulated resentment etc. Jim was capable of much more than the one lowly bitch-like «C» grade, as readers today are (painfully) aware. The Slog arose, revenge, ultimate payback on society by the ultra-NERD. There’s no silly discuss, just machine-gun flaming 0.40 cal. words, and dudes everywhere flying high and low - a tempting target practice. //merely some construct, only Jim knows Jim>

Jim Leff said...

I brought it on myself. Per Mrs. Shannon's note, what kind of SHMUCK does a catfish report without noting BODY TEMPERATURE?

Mrs. Shannon traveled with a thermometer, which she'd efficiently THRUST up the anal cavity of man or beast in one swift, crisp, scientific movement. She'd take a precise reading, wipe the instrument with a Wet Wipe, and make her way home - accompanied by the crisp staccato of her high heels - to write up her notes.

That's how you do it. That's A+ work.

Anonymous said...

Granted, but as you vividly describe it, does not meet all 5 qualities of a Role Model. My condolences to you, Jim (and other long suffering members of the past).
https://www.yitfredericton.ca/single-post/2017/05/03/what-is-a-role-model-five-qualities-that-matter-to-teens

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