CDC Guidelines for Vaccinated Persons

Media is reporting the CDCs nerdy, wordy guidelines re: what vaccinated people can do. As expressed, it seems meager. The loonies will have a field day, saying "Why even bother?"

Here's how the guidelines - or at least the reporting thereof - ought to begin the list of vaccination perks:

Vaccinated Individuals May:

1. Not die a horrendous and solitary death choking on fountains of puss kicked up by their putrified lung tissue.

2. Not risk months of affliction with neurological, cardiological, and other pernicious, little-understood effects of a terrifying pathogen.

3. Not risk killing their neighbors and loved ones.

[And then all the other stuff]....



Human beings can't communicate.

I realize that's an extreme and counterintuitive statement. But at a moment like this, with stakes this high, if the smartest and best-paid of us can't do any better than this (and some goofy trombonist/food critic needs to state the freaking obvious), the jenga tower of human culture is irredeemably flimsy and human beings really can't communicate.