We'll All Be Vaccinated By May

If you heard today's announcement that there will be sufficient vaccine for every adult American by the end of May (not Fall; not July; MAY) without tearing up - if not outright sobbing - then you have utterly lost touch with the situation.

My whole life, I've watched people lost in senseless drama, making cinematic emotional big deals out of absolutely nothing.

Now for once we are amid actual drama: having survived a horrific pandemic, the worst possible thing short of war, we are all weeks from safe harbor. It's a bona fide miracle. So all you drama queens and kings out there who imagine your lives to be a cinematic journey, now, for the first time, it really is. This is the moment to pull out your signature move and feel epic.

But no. Instead, everyone's bitching about some stupid shit they heard at CPAC or whatever. 41% of the country doesn't even want the vaccine. What ridiculous blinkered, entitled jackasses we are.

Perhaps, for the first time in my 58 years, the nation can go into this coming New Year's Eve with a consensus that it wasn't a particularly terrible year. Maybe not the worst excruciating torture as we've luxuriated in comfort, entertainment, and security unimaginable to innumerable previous generations. I doubt it, but maybe.

Me? Right this moment, I'm starring in a movie, lightly sobbing with relief after a year of pursuit by a monster. Because it's true.